Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
These tits shall not be calmed
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
