How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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