i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
BRING THE BAGELS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
