we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
