I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
