...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
