Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
