If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
