Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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