I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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