At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We were destined to go to rehab together
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
