it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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