i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
