Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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