You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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