And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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