We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
