I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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