U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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