Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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