i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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