Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
