i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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