So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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