I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
