1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
