David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Watching her eat just hurts me
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
