Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
