I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
