when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize