Got a toothbrush?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
