the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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