is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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