hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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