I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
