Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
