i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
