You can't special order awesome
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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