My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
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