; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Please don't give away my fajitas
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
