i just had sex bonerless
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
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