Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
