the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
