dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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