he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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