wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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