great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
