I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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