I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
