I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
