Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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