They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We left the knife in your bed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
