I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
