How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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