he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
