Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
