he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
