just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
