I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Enjoy the penises
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
