So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
