People with herpes should wear stickers.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
