Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
