uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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