you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize