I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
