all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
