He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize