I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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